Rev. Pete’s Menhir News: Marriage or Handfasting?

ByATC Canada

Rev. Pete’s Menhir News: Marriage or Handfasting?

I should say at the outset that while I am the founder and Archpriest of the Aquarian Tabernacle Church tradition of the Wiccan religion, this information comes from my own personal experiences over some 34 years of church administration and reading of legal opinions. I am not an attorney, and suggest if you need more reliable or detailed information, you consult your own attorney. I am not qualified to give legal advice, other than my own personal opinions.

(The Rt. Rev.) Pete Pathfinder Davis, Index, WA,   8/19/2012

Those Wiccans who consider themselves priestesses or priests often assume they know what they can and can’t do regarding sanctifying a marriage, without becoming familiar with the laws of their state. That assumption may prove very dangerous for the priestess or priest in the long run. Most states have had very similar laws concerning marriage authority for a very long time, but because of the furor that arose surrounding gay marriage, that whole field of law is changing and evolving rapidly.

Some states have recognized the right of same-sex couples to marry, and some others have adopted laws prohibiting same-sex marriage. Some states are still silent on the issue. Because the regulation of marriage has always been the responsibility of the states, the recent federal “Defense of Marriage Act” is of questionable validity. Ultimately, the courts will have to decide, so it may take a while to sort it all out.  It is important that clergy become familiar with the marriage laws of their state. Anyone with Internet access can usually read their (and other) state laws with just a few clicks of their mouse.

In some states, such as Virginia, clergy must go before a circuit court judge and show proof of ordination and their connection to a congregation in that state, to secure a court order to get authority to sanctify  marriages. In some states, clergy must register with the county clerk. In others, no registration at all is necessary. Regulations differ from state to state. In all cases, a marriage license is required. Be familiar with your local laws. Sanctifying a marriage in a state other than where you or your group resides may require prior approval or registration of some sort. More on licenses in a minute.

In the last 30 or 40 years in the United States, since Wicca has received legal recognition and clergy have the ability to obtain authority to solemnize marriages, the terms “marriage” and “handfasting” have been used interchangeably among Pagans to refer to a legally sanctioned marriage ceremony, performed by the priestess or priest under the authority granted them to solemnize marriages by the state, once a Marriage License has been obtained first.

However, there exists a custom in some branches of the Wiccan customs a practice of “Handfasting,” a legally unrecorded and informal kind of “in the eyes of the gods alone” marriage, usually stated as only “for a year and a day.”  This ceremony is performed by someone considered a priest or priestess at the request of the parties and without the benefit or sanction of a legal Marriage License, and has no legal standing as a marriage whatsoever.  The custom of handfasting without a marriage license has been, for the most part, a living-together arrangement, one sanctified by a priestess or priest in a ceremony before a religious community only, and neither recognized  nor recorded by the state.

This unusual practice is foreign to modern western cultures and can present some very serious problems down the road, for both the couple and the minister. (It should be noted that the old legal concept of  “common-law marriage” arising from cohabitation for some specified time period, is not recognized by 41 states and is applicable today in only 9.)

There has been a recent Kentucky appellate court decision* that held that even a highly religious ceremony of this sort is not a legally binding marriage and, (here’s the tough part), any marriage ceremony conducted without the legally required  marriage license is an illegal act, an offense punishable to the minister (generally a misdemeanor that may include some jail time).  Conducting an unlicensed marriage can be serious. Even though some Pagan traditions can show a history of such ceremonies, the practice is contrary to law in most places, and the possible ramifications can be so extreme as to make the continuation of this practice on the grounds of religious unsupportable, unwise and even personally risky.

The long- and short-range results of any unlicensed marriage ceremony can be the creation of all manner of complex legal problems, from denying the couple the ability to file joint tax returns, the loss of dependent deductions, employer health benefits can become taxable, death benefits and inheritance rights can be lost, the loss of marital exemption  from estate taxes and real estate transfer taxes are just a few of the most obvious. The list goes on and can become very complicated, and the minister may personally be exposed to a fine and even some jail time. Always check your state laws to determine if conducting a wedding ceremony without a license is illegal under the laws of your state, as this case clearly has shown it to be in Kentucky.

If the purpose of not having the ceremony on record is, for example, to avoid loss of welfare payments, or one of the parties is an undocumented alien or may already be married, it would be equally illegal because the purpose of not recording the marriage is to lay groundwork for a criminal fraud. The Kentucky case revealed a clear understanding on the part of all parties that a license was an absolute requirement, yet they insisted there be no marriage license or reporting to the state. It eventually was revealed that neither party was in this country legally, and feared possible deportation. Both also wanted to remain legally unmarried, in order to be free to marry an American citizen later for the purpose of obtaining a “green card” and applying for citizenship on that basis. The purpose appears on the face of it to have fraudulent intent.

Marriage Licenses

For a marriage to be valid, it must be “on the record.” That means that the parties to be wed must meet the legal requirements of age and residence, and have obtained a valid marriage license. The license usually consists of several documents. One is the license itself, which the minister must keep in the church files as proof of authority to conduct the marriage.  The license will generally have a preponderance of the following characteristics:

  1. It will say “Marriage License” on it;
  2. It will indicate the date it was issued, and will be signed with an original signature in ink by a government official;
  3. It will indicate the governmental agency issuing it;
  4. It will have a serial number of some sort;
  5. It will indicate a valid date range, usually not until 3 days after issuance, and usually expires somewhere around 60 days after issuance (this will vary in some jurisdictions);
  6. It will indicate the full legal names of the participants;
  7. It will indicate the time within which the completed documents must be returned to the issuing agency for proper recording.

The marriage license will be very official-looking, and will have some sort of seal or other form of validation on it, and indicate that it is the document authorizing the conduct of the marriage, and that it is to be kept by the person conducting the marriage ceremony.

Without such an official authorization, the priest or priestess may be exposed to future claims that the parties were not aware they were not being officially married, or prosecution for participating in some sort of fraudulent scheme as suggested above, or as actually happened in the Kentucky case.*

ATC always recommends that the priest/ess document the date, time and place of the ceremony, and also record the names and addresses of the two required witnesses on the back of the license itself. (Note that the priest/ess conducting the ceremony may not serve as one of the required witnesses. )

The second document is one on which all of the specific details must be recorded and must be signed by all parties, including the witnesses and the priest/ess. This is the critical official document for the recording of the marriage for the Department of Vital Statistics. It is the responsibility of the officiating priest/ess to assure that all the information is accurate, all signatures have been signed and are valid, and that this document is promptly returned to Vital Statistics at the address as noted thereon. It is critical that the priest/ess mail the document and NOT delegate that responsibility to anyone else, especially not to any of the wedding party!  There are severe penalties for a minister’s failure to file this critical documentation promptly. Too much can go wrong, so do it yourself.

The third document, which is not always provided by every jurisdiction, is usually a blank certificate of marriage provided for the minister to fill in and give to the couple as a record for them to keep. If provided at all, it is an informal record, the formal record being the one returned to and kept by the government.

ATC always recommends that the Vital Statistics document be completely filled in and signed by all parties except the priest/ess , before the ceremony is begun. If you wait until after the ceremony to fill it out, it will be very hard to corral all the required parties in one place to get all the information, addresses and signatures, as they naturally scatter and party afterward. Do it first, and pocket the document. Once the ceremony and merriment is over, then you sign it as the officiating priest/ess, put it into the stamped and addressed envelope you prepared ahead of time, and drop it into the mail on your way home, and the law and your responsibility have been fulfilled and you are done, well within the required time limits.

Why not let someone else, let’s  say the groom, mail it for you? Because if he doesn’t mail it, only he knows they aren’t really married unless he returns it, and you will be guilty of conducting an unauthorized marriage because you failed to assure the recording of it. Worse yet, suppose he unintentionally mislaid it, and the wife doesn’t find that out until he dies and she is told she can’t collect her Social Security Survivor Benefits, many years later. That’s just one of several possible nightmare scenarios. Mail it yourself, and be sure to file the license in the records of your church, too!


*(see Pinkhasov v. Petocsz, 331 S.W. 3d 285 [Ky. App. 2011]) The parties involved specifically refused to obtain a marriage license, and insisted their rabbi perform a very traditional Jewish wedding ceremony, but without license and/or any reporting to the state. Their rabbi’s advices to the contrary notwithstanding, they did so without a license and without any reference to witnessing or certification of a civil marriage. Kentucky law specifically demands a license be first obtained. The court discovered their purpose was motivated by a desire to preserve a future opportunity for an immigration law fraud. Their intent was to leave an opportunity to later each marry an American citizen to obtain legal residence in this country. Both had entered the country illegally and were undocumented aliens. Obtaining a license and then failing to record it after the marriage would have had a similar effect, leaving all parties open to legal trouble, including the rabbi.

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